lunes, 7 de mayo de 2007

What Not to Wear

Creo que los "Fashion Post" están teniendo mas acogida de la que me esperaba....y es que tooodos tenemos un inner Toc (*) Model, yo soy una Toc, tu eres una Toc y él también es un Toc -y no lo niegues!!!-....así que acá va un post mas de aquellos que taaaaanto te gustan!

No se si ustedes habrán visto ese programa de la BBC "What Not to Wear", Sí? No? En fin. Lo transmiten o transmitían en People & Arts, y también tienen hay una versión Americana y no tan buena para mi gusto que transmiten en Discovery Home & Health. Yo prefiero a mis amigas inglesas, así como lo lees, mis amigas Susannah y Trinny, ellas SI saben lo que dicen.

En fin, el tema es que las Fashion Experts de ese programa tienen muy buenos tips que los he traducido a mi idioma -no necesariamente el más puro español, pero ustedes me comprenden- a lo que le he aumentado mis comentarios e ideas personales y aquí los comparto con ustedes:
  1. Siempre usa color con color. Esto quiere decir que tengan cuidado con los colores neutrales como el negro y el blanco. No uses colores encendidos como el turquesa o el fucsia con algo negro. No polito o blusa turquesa con falta o pantalón negro. No chompita fucsia con pantalón negro. No, no, no. Esto por que??? Porque hace que los colores se van cheap, en buen español, se ve chusco, barato, gamarrero!!! Y por mas que tengas ropa gamarrera (yo sí, tú no??? No mientas!) no queremos que todos sepan que tenemos puesto algo de Gamarra!!! Utiliza en su lugar colores base como el ciruela (ese moradix tirando a marroncete que tan bien combina con todo) y combínalo con rojo, rosado, naranja, beige (de verdad que queda mucho mejor). Utilizar el color plomo ya sea plomo claro o plomo oscuro combinado con celeste, blanco, rosado queda también super bien. El Khaki también es una buena opción para combinarla con cualquier otro color. Según estas muchachas, te veras mas delgada/o, alta/o y stylish.
  2. No uses pantalones de cuero. No importa que tanto frió haga, siempre te hará sudar la entrepierna (como a Ross en Friends!!!) lo cual es muy, pero muy poco sexy y parecerás un vaquero/a -totalmente desubicado- Maaaallllllllll. Además, dicen mis amigas y creo que tienen razón, los pantalones de cuero NO son asentadores, no forman el trasero ni las caderas. No los uses. No.
  3. Cuidado con la marca del calzón, calzoncillo, pantaletas, bombacha, braga o como quieras llamarlo. Si eres mujer, la verdad, que se ve mal mal mal cuando te pones algo y se marca todo el calzón, no matter que estilo de calzón uses, todo Lima no tiene porque enterarse. Ni que decir, que a mi, personalmente, la moda esa de enseñar el hilo dental por encima del jean me parece chusco, vulgar, corriente, barato, como quieras llamarlo, me parece horroroso y absolutamente innecesario.
    Eres hombre, macho, galán??? Idem. Por favor, no quiero saber que modelo de calzoncillo usas ni que marca, no importa si es XYZ o CK, no quiero saber. Y nunca les ha pasado que ven a un pata en pantalón de vestir así ceñidito al cuerpo y se ve la marcaaaaasa de su calzoncillo modelo "trusa" -horrorosa palabra btw-????? Se ve maaaaaaal.
  4. No uses la ropa pegadita....no quieras ser una mamacita rica y apretadita, esas que caminan todas ellas sumiendo la panza y aguantando la respiración. Sabes por que? PORQUE SE NOTA. Hombres y Mujeres del Perú, usen ropa que les quede entallada al cuerpo, no importa el tamaño del cuerpo, siempre hay una forma o figura debajo de esa grasa y tras esos rollos. Si eres flaca, y te pones esos politos de corte embarazada, te quedaran bien, dulces, sweet, si eres flaca y tienes panza, también, te quedará bien, pero si eres rellenita o gordita y te pones esa ropa de corte embaraza, parecerá que sigues luchando con los kilos post-maternidad en lugar de ser un corte que te asiente. Gorda o flaca, nuestra figura es nuestra única figura, así que no uses ropa pegadita, repito, no queremos mamacitas ricas y apretaditas -aunque en el fondo muero por ser una de ellas(*1)- No queremos eso.

DKNY Winter 2007 Ropa entallada al cuerpo, cactas???

Chicos mios, como ya lo dije antes, no uses las camisas y los polos 35 tallas mas grandes tú!!!! El corte de los hombros debe de quedar....guess donde??? EN LOS HOMBROS!!!! Si estas panzón o barrigón, vete tal vez una talla mas grande de la que te corresponde por el ancho de hombros, pero no mas que eso. Get it???

5. Los zapatos son muy importantes. No sólo porque SIEMPRE deben estar limpios sino que deben de ir acorde a tu figura. Tienes tobillos gruesos??? No uses zapatos con tiritas en los tobillos. Eres aaaalta??? No uses esos taco de 3 de estilo delgadito, parecerá que estas tambaleándote. Tienes piernas cortas???No uses faldas con zapatos de correa, esto acorta el efecto visual de longitud de tus ya pequeñas piernas. Tienes pies anchos??? No uses sandalias taco 7. En el caso de los hombres, les puedo pedir que por favor renueven su calzado de vez en cuando. No hagan que como ya, para un matri de hace 85 años te compraste tabas negras....ya tienes y ya no te compras otras....los zapatos de gastan, se maltratan, se ensucian -malaso- y lo que es mas, pasan de moda!!!! y para una mujer, saber que tu galán renueva y se preocupa de comprarse zapatos nuevos cada cierto tiempo, es señal de que él se preocupa también de esos detalles para con él mismo. (así se dice????)

Ahora, personalmente opino que así como deben de quemar en la hoguera todas las medias blancas de vestir para hombre; deben de quemar en la hoguera también los zapatos de mujer azules. La única excepción a la regla es si es que son parte de tu uniforme de trabajo. Pero mas allá de eso, para mí, no hay nada peor que los zapatos de taco azules. Porque a??? Porque zapatos azules??? Si hay marrones en miles de tonos que tan bien combina con el azul??? Desde el marrón mas oscuro hasta el tono mas beige natural, por favor amiguita, caserita, mira, compra, usa otras opciones, pero NO uses zapatos azules y por lo que mas quieras, menos aun, MENOS, en juego con cartera azul, no lo hagas ñaña, ya???

6. No uses kilos de maquillaje. Por favor, por favor, por favor, sé que se usa el gloss, el brillito tan lindo ese también y nos encanta y la boquita se nos ve muy besable, apetecible y todo lo que quieras, pero creeme, no hay nada mas desagradable que nosotras reynas, lindas y bellas, en un restaurante con el galán en una se esas cenas, y nuestro vaso con la marcasa de lapiz de labio. No es feo, no es vulgaron, no es de mal gusto, es HORROROSO.Las pestañas pegosteadas de rimel tambien se ve horrible. La huella de los polvos traslucidos bajo los ojos nos envejece mas, la base mal aplicada, nos hace la cara de carton, cual caja de galletas Sayon. Muy feo. Y la marca del delineador de labios (ése que es un tono mas oscuro que el lapiz labial) jamás de los jamases!!! No hay nada mas chusco y vulgar que estemos asi nosotras sexys y reynas, con la boca super delineada y con el gloss en los lobios, y que luego, por fumar, tomar o lo que sea que hagas….se te vaya el gloss y te quedas con el delineador……NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO.


Ese es un resumen rapidito e ilustrativo de lo que estas britanicas amigas recomiendan que se debe hacer y que no se hacer en cuanto a ropa se refiere.


Pero quiero concluir con algo ya??? hay mucha gente que le encanta decir "pero eso no se usa!!!", pero "eso si se usa, esta de toda moda!!!", eso "es super fashion", etc.....yo creo que sí, hay tendencias, hay cosas que este ultimillonario negocio propone y es lo que mantiene la mente de esta su Serendipity ocupada, pero finalmente, mientras que las cosas que a ti te gusten usar te queden bien y mientras luzcas la ropa que quieres ponerte como debe de ser y como debe lucirse....que importa si se usa o no???? (eso no incluye medias de vestir blancas!!!!)

44 comentarios:

Anónimo dijo...

Buenisimos los tips.
Los colores brillantes y claros a las gorditas no les van las hacen mas gruesas.

darling dijo...

Apoyo tu campaña contra las medias blancas. Chicos, no lo hagan.

Laura Zaferson dijo...

las medias blancas son LO PEOR.
y el labial en el vaso es AJJ.


PD. Aca en BsAS a todos los chicos se les nota el calzon! (Yo ya no se como explicarles)

Mafa dijo...

Una vaina eso del maquillaje tía Sere, por eso solo uso labial pero sin gloss. Si tengo unos mocasines azul oscuro :D y son ultra cómodos pero para algo especial no me los pongo.

Anónimo dijo...

Tienes razón Serendicinha (disculpe usté la confianza); yo NUNCA estube de acuerdo con la "moda" de enseñar el hilo por sobre el jean, es de los más VULGAR!!!es más, si tuviese que elegir entre esto y que se note la marca de mi calzón, prefiero lo segundo.
Y que me dicen de las que se ponen el pantalon cuasi transparente y se notan hasta el los dibujitos del calzón!!! eso en "IN" o "OUT" ja! ... para mi es HORROROSO

Mariella Villanueva dijo...

He disfrutado TANTOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO leyendo este post, pero tanto........ Seren, tu blog se ha vuelto mi Cosmo!!!!! LA BIBLIA!!!!!!

Imberbe_Muchacho dijo...

pobres mis medias blancas...

Unknown dijo...

alucina que normalmente no era fan de estos posts fashion en tu blog (prefiero los que me cuentan los chismes con el chepis: LO ADMITO!)

pero este lo tomaré en cuenta

mu-me-acabo-de-dar-cuenta-de-un-par-de-cosas

Anónimo dijo...

Señorita TOC:
no me quedo claro con que puedo usar turquesa, fucsia, naranja porque según lo leido no debe combinarse con el negro o blanco
Anonima toc aussi

Anónimo dijo...

porque zapatos azules no??...yo tengo un conjunto con cartera...de cuero claro...que combinan lindo con hueso y con beige...al menos se ven elegantes y pegan en todas mis reuniones asi con los jefes y con los clientes...pero porque noooo???

El Chepis dijo...

A teñir nuestros kilos de medias blancas imberbe. Te presto mis tintes.

Ursula dijo...

A mí también me encanta ese programa y sus fashion-tips. Y sí, la versón británica es mil veces mejor que la americana.

Besos

Inanicion dijo...

OMG! Qué buen artículo...Me encanta ese programa, obvio que su versión Ingles porque la gringa es la típica del gay y la comentarista sonriente.
Me encantó tu blog!
Ah...y los pantalones a la cadera que hacen salir ese rollito a los costados? That must be OUT!!! Haría una campaña en contra de la gente que no se molesta en subirse bien el pantalón o que no asume que esa no es su talla.

Saludos gratos.
Chau!

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